Review Challenge 2/125: Porygon, a la chanteuse

Seizensetsu by Hi-Posi
2000, 13 tracks at 43 min.
Buy CD Sample

RATING: 46 out of 50

Man, does anyone else feel like having a seizure right now? I sure do, but it may just be the Hi-Posi. If there was ever an album designed to have you dance like a Pichu fed by gavage, then this is it (keep track of all the Pokémon references in this review, true believers!).

Cut from the same national cloth that gave us Boredoms, Melt Banana, Excel Saga, and the Sarin Gas Attacks (too soon?), it should come of no surprise to anyone who is not an idiot that Hi-Posi is such a ‘kooky’ gal. It is often this special brand of Nipponese (damn, before you know it, I be makin’ fun of Jynx) insanity that has inspired countless artists douchebags. After all, where would Sonichu be today without the Oriental imports from which he is so obviously ripped? Where would weeabos be without the mountains of hentai to which they pleasure themselves? Where would I be without my earliest groundings in G-Gundam (all da charatiz on dat show were hot)?

Hi-Posi is of no likewise-revolutionary stripes, but her combination of Yoshimio-like skullduggery, Shonen-Knife-like powerpuffery, and Towa-Tei-like beat-mastery is enchanting. The opening track (also the title track) is a pinball machine gone mad. Every track, actually, is a pinball machine gone mad. Maybe a more apt description would be thus—‘On Seizensetsu, Hi-Posi weaves forty-five minutes of sticky poison-pop threads; so potent is their toxicity, in fact, that you may mistake her for a Nidoqueen.’

But that makes no sense—much like the numerous sexual puns supposedly present on this album (puns I can’t understand because I’m a sinful gaijin). But nothing makes sense on this album. There’s crowded background shouting (“Sonae Yotsuneni”), alt-ish guitar (“Core”), haunted taunting (“Iranaimono Risuto”), squiggly noir (“Gomendawa”) and naïvely adorability (“Denki”). All of this makes for something not quite cute, not quite satirical, and maybe not even shibuya-kei—it is, in all honorable respects, a polite mindfuck.

Remember in the Red, Blue, and Yellow Pokémon games your tireless frustration upon discovering that you had to wake the road-blocking Snorlax up with a special ‘Pokéflute’? The vexation was endless, clearly. Well, Hi-Posi is a kick in the balls to Snorlaxes everywhere. She will keep you awake, forever—if you’re into that sort of thing. Otherwise, this is prime Asian fetish material.