About the Author

Past photos: Nov. '08, Jan. '09, Mar. '09, Jun. '09, Jul. '09, Aug. '09, Aug. '09 (2nd photo), Sept. '09 , Sept. '09 (2nd photo)

More Me at Flickr

So, it seems you've come to page, wondering "Who writes this stupid shit?" Well, that would be. I'm Alex, and I used to have a really pretentious bio here, but then I realized that nobody cares. So, what about me? Well, I still like Pokemans. But I am more than a one-trick Ponyta. Nay, you may even could call me a "Renaissance Man." But that would be really narcissistic and modernist, and I'm trying to get both of those out of my system.

If my prose ever comes across as inflated and pompous (see: the above and following paragraphs, or any post on the site), that's because writing is the one thing I feel I'm really good at (you can tell I'm lying because I just ended a sentence with a preposition). So, if you ever read something on Squid Can and say to yourself, "Wow, what an ass," well, that's because I usually pour all my talent into my writing. So if seems egotistical, sorry; go read US Weekly or something. The only thing you'll get too much of there are exclamation marks!

But back to that thing about being a 'Renaissance Man.' I'm interested in feminism (probably more than a New England boy of my young age should be), so let's say "Renaissance Person." Just kidding. I hate political correctness, which is probably why I enjoy [adult swim] and all its tomfoolery. Yet [adult swim] also has other elements which I truly appreciate: biting sarcasm, surplus postmodernity, and surreal humor. Also, [adult swim] bumps are just about the greatest thing on TV. I've stopped what I was doing just to watch a bump. I'm not being sarcastic, which is a surprise. Usually my humor is so dry that some people can't tell whether I'm serious or not. Yet when people can tell the difference, I usually become good friends with them. And, thankfully, I've got a pretty decent group of friends.

So, anything else? Let's see. I like to take walks and go swimming and running. I don't want to drive so I take the bus (Funfact: Vladimir Nabokov didn't drive, so his wife took him on his 'butterfly hunts'). I enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing. I love buying clothes, especially shoes. I adore the early morning. I enjoy folk art and other 'passé' things not for their irony but for their own value. I respect sentimentality. I don't like hipsters but I probably look like one. I'm most likely a hipster. Lickitung and Nosepass are my favorite Pokemon (runners-up are Porygon and Vileplume). People think I'm smart but I really just own a lot of books. I like to travel. I want to be a journalist, even if that means typing blog posts on Fourth of July parades for small-town newspapers. I'm too postmodern. People tell me I talk about stereotypes too much. I use the word 'bourgeois' too much, and I'm not even a Marxist. I'm not religious. I write too much about boring things. I like yard sales and trash-picking for treasures. I'm skilled at finding bargains. I'll listen to anything at least once. I have a lot of in-jokes with my friends. One day I'll finish Gravity's Rainbow. I like to namedrop pretentious books. I hate MySpace, Facebook, et cetera. However, I check my Last.fm constantly, and even manually scrobble so I get accurate stats. And if you read this entire bio, then you're either nosy or really interested in boring people. And I guess either of those are okay.

--June 2009