video

Oh. Hmm. Yep.

Well, next best thing to a new Knife album, I guess.

...Into someone's 'bumper' that is. No subtext there, right? Hmm? Yep.
So, it's 1981 when Grace Jones releases this video. There's wide-angle city shots, blurred lights, androgyny, and one hell of a funky chorus. Did I say '1981'? I think I meant nineteen-eighty-AWESOME.

Download "Slave to the Rhythm" (Hot Blooded Version)(via Filedropper)

Hey, I calls em as I sees em.

I’m sure other people have noticed this, but isn’t every episode of Rugrats the same episode? Babies go on an adventure, Angelica is jealous and bitchy towards them, she tries to get them caught, she’s foiled and the babies are back in their pen. Nostalgia wise, it’s a fine show, but really—did we need one-hundred plus episodes of whatever the hell Didi Pickles was supposed to be? (For fun: Go to around 2:50 in this episode and note Didi’s incorrect prediction that disco would never return. Fucking Hercules and Love Affair.) While I hate to change my opinion from three lines up, my reviewing of these episodes makes me think they aren’t so bad. It’s basically Home Movies, except with babies and more poop humor. Pick your poison.

Other great moments in the ‘Garage Sale’ episode: Andrew Bird shopping at 0:26, Angelica being a conniving succubus at 2:00, “CHUCKY!” at 3:50, and lessons for da recession at 4:25.

See what happens when I try to post on a schedule? I post crap like this.

So what’s out today in music? Sondre Lerche’s new record is out, but at a steep $10 for the Mp3 album I don’t think I’ll be getting it anytime soon (you did listen to Didi Pickle’s recession speech as mentioned above, didn’t you?). You can also pick up A Fine Frenzy’s new album for $3.99 at Lala (don’t expect too much). Amie Street has some interesting bargains in Yo La Tengo and Nudge.

Well, that’s it. I got my post in for the day. They’ll be better once I get used to the daily schedule.

And, Christ, wasn’t this episode just gorgeous?

Mp3: “Good Luck” by Sondre Lerche (from Heartbeat Radio) (Alt. link)

A stilted Green Day reference? In my Squid Can? Well, tough shit. It has a purpose, folks. See, summer vacation is coming to an end. This means I have to do stuff. This 'stuff' does not involve sitting at a computer and posting snark-riddled reviews of Garbage records, unfortunately. So, this post will likely be the last until the new schedule kicks in on September 7th.

Take a moment to dry your eyes.

However, the good news is that I'll still be working on the site, I just won't be posting any of what I'm writing. This is to ensure that, when outside work really does get heavy, then I'll still be able to post something on a schedule for y'all to enjoy.

Two things before I go. Apparently, I'm important enough to have an artist send a promo Mp3 to my inbox. I know, right? Well, it happened. Sandra Zettpunkt was generous enough to send me a copy of "The One". It features one of the dudes from Calexico on double bass, and Calexico is always a good thing. "Her palette ranges from indie anthem to pastoral gem and pays knowing reference to the raw sparseness of early Cat Power,
Slint's aural intensity, Nico's dark elegance and the welcome transparency of the Radar Brothers," says the press release. I'm not sure what half of those references mean, but I have listened to "The One" and it sounds mighty fine. Why not try it yourself (and watch the video for "Unwound" while you're at it)?

Mp3: "The One" by Music For Your Heart (album is out Sept. 25)

If you're more in the mood for buying music (guffaw guffaw), then there's good new for you over at Amie Street. The other day, well over a thousand albums were added to the site. Most of them are still under $5. Since the list is so huge--and quite honestly, I don't feel like formatting all the links--I've set a list of my picks at YourPaste. Album title and artist are in the url. Among the offerings: Ulver, Boris, Matt and Kim, Holly Go Lighty & The Brokeoffs, Tora! Tora! Torrance!, Elizabeth Cook, Sunny Day Real Estate, Jem, The Gaslight Anthem, and plenty more bargains. Some of the bands in the list I've never heard of, but the covers sure looked interesting.

So there we have it folks. The last Squid Can post of the summer, it looks like (unless I get around to finishing the Pokémon mixtapes). Hold your tears and applause. I'll be back in two weeks. And, while you're away, read "Is Laughter Contagious?" by Joyce Carol Oates. It's cool beans; trust me.

No, silly nerds! Not that final fantasy. The Tifa-less Final Fantasy—the performing pseudonym of Owen Pallet—will be releasing a new album in early 2010. He’s just signed onto Domino; and this is good news for “gay postmodern harpsichord nerds” everywhere, clearly. You know what I like about Owen Pallet, though? He’s the one cool dude in the baroque pop scene who’s not obnoxiously gay. Like, say, Patrick Wolf. We get it man, you’re a drama queen. Why do people still give shits about other people’s sexuality? Oh, that’s right. He has to upkeep his image of drama queen. He can do that by throwing hissy fits!

By the way, vid is NWS due to coarse language and people being total pricks:

 read more »

A few weeks ago, my Dish was upgraded from like the 1997 version to the 'New and Improved' model, which has made it much easier for me to waste time with extra channels like Nicktoons, Boomerang, and the N. You see, whereas on my old Dish, the N and Noggin were one channel, on this Dish package they're two separate channels. Do you know what that means? I can watch Little Bear and Degrassi at the same time. THE SAME TIME.

Since the weather has blown lately (Oooo, what a pun), I've been inside, tapping away my keyboard, writing reviews and so on. When I'm not listening to Bjork remixes, the TV is on, and I've digested quite a bit of Degrassi lately. See those crappy screencaps at the right? They doing anything for ya? They should be, as those screencaps recount the crucial moment when Paige came to Alex's door, professing her Etheridigian love in the most wholesome way possible on pre-primetime teenager's TV.

I also had the opportunity today to watch the Disney made-for-TV movie Up, Up, and Away, starring George Jefferson Sherman Hemsley as the Steel Condor. But the real focus of the movie is on his character's grandson who, despite not having superpowers like the rest of his family, still manages to save the day! There's this cool earthy girl who tries to brainwash children with hardcore eco-propaganda, this girl who looks like Carly Simon, and the lovable 'sidekick' who jokes and is sooo white. But all in all, it was an enjoyable film. I was critical for about five minutes before I started to enjoy it.

One more thing:

"HEY I'M ELI-JAH, I'M GONNA SHOW YOU HOW TO DO MY DANCEY-DANCE!" begins the most postmodern preschooler's TV segment in recent memory:

I don't know anything about Elijah Wood (maybe I've seen a movie starring him?), except that he has cool facial hair/clothing in this video, and that's he super-short. But: do I need to know anything beyond that to know that this video is awesome? I think not. I mean, look at those monsters. Happy monstaz.

And, also, Yo Gabba Gabba reminds me of Lullatone, albeit more electrotrash than ambient lullabies. You see, Lullatone thinks they are too good for Yo Gabba Gabba. Frigging Lullatone. They better get their act together.

Oh, btw, JT dies.

Oops, gtg guys, my fave degrassi ep is on. Da one wid the paedophile blog drama (but not that original one; dis is the one specifically about a blog) <3 <3 <3 <3 See ya!!!

Listen to the new Lullatone album, Songs That Spin in Circles at Last.fm

Dear Pitchfork/Stereogum/Gorilla Vs. Bear/Other crappy hipster blogs,

I dunno. I just dunno anymore. I mean, I was all excited when I heard Neko Case was going to be on Conan. I mean, Conan, and Neko? On the same stage? At the same time? Sounds good, right? I figured that she would be performing "This Tornado Loves You," since that's probably the strongest cut on the album, and I...I was just...happy, about the whole thing. And then when the song starts, it is "This Tornado Loves You". But something seemed amiss, even in the first few seconds. And then this happened:

Oh, what should I do? I mean, you see what happened here, right? Everything was mixed wrong and Neko just wasn't singing all that well. But, who should I confide in? A trusted adult? A teacher? A minister? Please, shitty hipster blogs, help me in my dilemma. I don't want to end up like Wavves. Crying on dat stage. In dat Barcelona. At dat 'raddest independent music festival.' So please, help me to restore my hope in Neko Case. I still believe in Neko, and I still believe in you!

Sincerely,
A concerned Neko Case fan

P.S. Pitchfork, thank you for finding this. Really.

You know what? I never blog about little ole me. It's always "Animal Collective this" or "Postmodern feminism that" or "Bjork Bjork Bjork such and such." So for once, why not a little something about the face behind the squid?

So I'm in New Hampshire for a doctor's appointment, and as I type this IMMA LIVEBLOGGIN FROM PANERA CAFE. YEAHHH, FEEL THE INTERWEBS AGE.

Anyhow, I went to Borders and was browsing The Brothers Karamazov (pretentious douche much?) when I saw I Love You Beth Cooper right beneath it, and I said to myself, "Why?"

Well, actually, I guess that's it. I'm more boring than I thought. Here's an mp3 and a video. Back to writing postmodern reviews of Beth Orton records.*

*Just kidding, I'll leave that to Pitchfork.

Download "Down Satan Down" by Alec Empire (via Megaupload)

Being a cartoon aficionado means that I often watch Cartoon Network and the like. It also means that I often sit through numerous shitty commercials, each one making me wonder, "What can top this, the seeming-pinnacle of all things shitty?" But one commercial has silenced that debate. No longer do I say to myself, "Is this the worst commercial on children's televsion, at this moment, on this fortnight?" No. Normally, webjunk does not enrage me thus, but this...this is SO BAD (Full rant after the jump).  read more »

My life. Almost everyday.

Also, Sit Down Shut Up begins next week on Fox. Live-action plus sitcommy-2D animation? Good, bad, eh? We'll have to see.

And, P.S., I can't get this video to center. I fail at things.

Really. Who does Ms. Cyclone think she is, Grandma Moses? Case's video for "People Got a Lotta Nerve" came out today, and, to be honest, it's not quite what you might've imagined. But who cares. There's whales, paper-doll-primitive animation, primates of some sort (Gibbons? No clue.), elephants, cardigans, storks, domesticated hawks, and firearms. Glad to see Case is keeping the "country" in "alt-country."

Or something. Really, I'm scraping for wit here. Just watch this.

Download "People Got a Lotta Nerve" (via ANTI-Records)

Yeah, this is a few months old but, seriously, WUT IS THIS. I'm compelled to post every episode of 'Breakfast at Sulimays' solely in honor of its greatness.

Best moment: Joe suggests that Fuck Buttons have photos on hand to autograph for female fans. Astute wisdom, indeed---hipster girls love the plaid-beard combo.

EDIT: I herd u liek Bjork? Well, Ann doesn't, since she rips apart "Earth Intruders." Really, though, the elderly reviewing Bjork? That is possibly the culmination of every wet muse-dream I have never had. (Video after the jump)  read more »

Take 3 grams Boards Of Canada nostalgia, 4 milligrams Delia Derbyshire, 1 liter of abstract expressionist texture, half-a-gram of de Chirico-esque isolation, and 5 ounces of ecobiological pretension. Spin in a centrifuge for two-and-a-half minutes. This is what you'll get.

Listen to more from Mary St John at Last.fm

Why do I even call this 'Friday Mp3?' I never post it on Friday. It's like calling calling PJ Harvey a 'dykecore' artist---'sorta maybe' true, but not quite. Anyhow, I've been meaning to post this Mp3 for a while. I found this song in October while scouring Amazon and it's quite the catchy number.

Bengt Svan is some eighty-year old Swedish dude or something and this song is about Swedish football. I dunno. There's a summary on Bengt Svan's MySpace but it's in Swedish. According to Google Translate: " We are Stock Bäcks oldest troop We pack sweater and traveling in a group."

Huh. Well, enjoy the Swedepop.

Download "Gubbpepp" (via Mediafire)

Really, Mizz Spears? You can't be a bit more subtle? It'd be nice to see a music video where everyone would look straight out of a Magritte painting, with bowlers and all that classy shit. Oh, and everyone would be wearing a hood.

O, but hey, srsly guyz---Britney is just as smart as dose painters amirite i mean lewk Professor YouDouche has explained to us how this vid is a scathing critique of suburbia.

OMFG I NEVAR KNEW SUBURBIA WAS HYPOCRITICAL---QUICK; SOMEBODY CALL DON DELILLO

More fine selections such as the one above at your local YouTube. Video after the jump.  read more »

After last Tuesday's (mostly) exciting picks, one can only browse today's releases and shrug their shoulders at the crap-cloud pluming before them. Here's what out today: Chris Cornell's new solo album (which is getting bad reviews even from Amazon customers), new Kelly Clarkson (don't care), more from Madeleine Peyroux (pretty sure I don't care), the debut LP from YouTube 'comedian' Bo Burnham (really don't care), and a bunch of other shit I've never heard of. Really, if you want to see what's out then just check out Amazon Mp3, as I'm pretty much in the dark on these new releases.

On Amie Street: 'quirky' pop from some girl who looks like Antony Hegarty, Kooks-esque indie rock by the Kinetiks, and ambient from Tim Hecker.

Really, this is just a depressing new music Tuesday. Here's a completely unrelated video to entertain you in the meanwhile.

Yeah, yeah, first rule of blog etiquette is not to 're-blog.' WUTEVZZ. This video is too mind-blowingly bizarre/cool to pass up posting.

Choice lulz:
"We have something today from the Animal Collective."
"Is that the music? That's it?"
"It's as bad as 'Rocket Man,' sing that about 30 times."
"That boo-boo-boo-boo."

Ah, well. Octogenarians may not like the pagan sex appeal of Avey Tare/Panda Bear's voice (I still don't know who's singing), but Cougar Barbie probably would.

Speaking of Animal Collective, I'm working on a 'double review' of Merriweather Post Pavilion with somebody, and that should be up soon. I think. Panda all around!

Oh, sure, they've got the dance-floor anthem sound going on, and they think they've got 'lowbrow' style with their wife beaters and Nike Dunks, but, really, this video is horrible. Blondie makes way too many pained facial expressions for this variety of electroshit, and for that matter the camera zooms in a bit too much on his splotchy Swede face. That being said, the ugly (uglier) one really can't dance; and while he may look like Gary Numan, he's not preaching Freudian atheism, rather he's vouching for the gospel of poor choreography.

Sad to say (that is, if you happen to think the below video is the "best dance song EVAR"), I've heard a few other tunes from this two-man Cut Copy, and they failed to dazzle. That's not particularly surprising, as according to an interview on Winnie Cooper: "You should see them both turn deep red when a pretty girl walks by." Pfft, what a lack of 'testicular fortitude,' as Stewie Griffin would say. Imma go listen to the Blood Brothers. At least they're not some New-Wave-resurrecting, venustrophobic douches. If you're still in the mood for some 'lo-fi funk' then download "Wake Up" below.

Download "Wake Up" (via Winnie Cooper)

Okay, I can tolerate Lady Gaga. Hell, I even like this song. But could Duchess Gaga be any more of a jackass in this video? First of all, what is with the futurist motif going on here? Didn't TLC do that like ten years ago with their "No Creeps" video or whatever it was?*

For a song called "Poker Face" there's certainly potential for some sort of cabaret theme; but no, instead Countess Gaga opts for random dogs, jilted robotic gyrating, skin-tight blue outfits (from the future), and one attractive half-naked person (skip to 2:44, gals---and guys, since I'm guessing a lot of un-museducated gay men have Lady Gaga spinnin' on the way to work).

Finally, Baroness Gaga's rap in the middle is just atrocious. "I won't tell you that I love you/Kiss or hug you/Cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin." Can we put a moratorium on using the word 'muffin' for sexual innuendos? We can easily replace it with another baked good. I nominate the napoleon.

*LOLOL, just kidding; I like TLC.

Alt-country songster Neko Case has a new album out today, Middle Cyclone. You can get the album on Amazon Mp3 for $10---a bit high by Amazon standards; but if you can wait for a snail mail order, then it's only $7.99. Or, if you're hesitant to buy the album, test drive "People Got A Lotta Nerve" below Case's PSA. Case has offered this download for free and is giving a portion of its profits to the Best Friends Animal Society.

Also out today: new U2 (eh), the latest from the The Prodigy, the Watchmen Soundtrack (spanning a wide gamut from 'lol wut' (My Chemical Romance) to Nina Simone and Philip Glass), Hospice by The Antlers (dubbed as "gorgeous, haunting indie folk" by Amie Street), an EP from Missy Higgins, and a full-length from Angus and Julia Stone. 2009 is certainly shaping up to be a good year.

Download "People Got A Lotta Nerve"

Poor Americans for the Arts. Even with well-done, surprisingly funny commercials like the one below nobody cares about them. Then again, some of President Obama's stimulus will be directed towards funding for the arts.

Download "String Sextet No. 1: Allegro ma non troppo," performed by The Stuttgart Soloists

Well. It's got the pretentiousness down pat. But, hey, it looks and sounds good! Directed by Michael Burlingame.

Whew---what a wonderful twelve days Squid Christmas has been. Now, however, Squid Christmas comes to a close. While you've been hearing oldies all month---in the department store, on the radio, in offices and schools---here's a final tune for some Christmas reflection. Then, to top off Squid Christmas, enjoy a few seasonal clips. Five more videos after the jump.

Download "O Come All Ye Faithful" by Eddie Fisher

I tried to find a larger portion of this special (from the X-Men animated series), but I think the thing was just so irredeemably bad that no one has uploaded it in its entirety.

Once again, this is just a small sampling of the X-Mas fun these specials contain. This clip is from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy Christmas special.  read more »

For the penultimate day of Squid Christmas, I've decided to just dump a bunch of weird stuff on y'all. Enjoy.

Download an Mp3 of the infamous "Fire Ant" scene from Space Ghost
Download an Mp3 of the YouTube hit, "McRoll'd" (video at left)
Download sixteen seconds of "green treefrog" noises
Download a "remix" I made of Bjork's "Five Years," entitled "Five Geese"
Download another hilariously crappy Bjork remix I made. This one is of "Immature" and it's called "Impatient"

NOTE: This is a "make-up" post from yesterday. (lol, minutia)

Remember Pee-wee? Sure, post-diddlegate there lingers anxiety about Reubens' character, but there's little question that Pee-wee's Playhouse was Mecca for social misfits, classical hipsters, Gen-X'ers, and hippie-raised children. So, you may ask, how could one possibly improve on the bizarre elements, the outlandish fun, of Playhouse? That question was answered---decisively---with Pee-wee's Christmas special. As if the idea of the slick-haired man-child presenting a forty-five minute extravaganza of yuletide antics was not enough, Grace Jones performs. That's right. For those who have never seen this special, effing Grace Jone makes an appearance. But that's not all: kd lang also sings, garbed in some hideous relic of eighties excess, and the Del Rubio Triplets, Cher, Charo, and others stop by the Playhouse. Am I over-praising this special? No. Enjoy the videos and Jones mp3 below, all of which will leave you in a splendid state of WTF-ery.

Download "Little Drummer Boy" by Grace Jones
Buy the DVD

Amen, amen, the interwebs have provided free Christmas songs once again. Like yesterday, today provides you with some holiday selections you can play in place of the seasonal standards. First off is a fresh track from The Raveonettes' new EP, Wishing You A Rave Christmas. You don't have to be a mega-Christian to enjoy the slightly-above-average soft rock of Jars of Clay, and laugh slightly at the implied Obama-Messiah message on Joan Jett's "Silent Night" (which sadly has more politically-supercharged samples than actual singing).

It's not Kate Bush, but Katie Eagleson's smoothly jazzy "It's Love, It's Christmas" is a sonic glass of X-Mas wine. Finally, proudly display your indie cred by blasting Sufjan Stevens from the car and blabbing about how "godlike" his falsetto is. Does Sufjan Stevens still have "indie cred?" Well, he certainly has cred amongst his rabid online fans, who scrobble him to the death. But I digress. I suppose Christmastime is the time for reconciliation, even if that means quietly tucking away your hate of Last.fm-sycophancy. Regardless, enjoy the Christmas tunes, and the cute video from Sufjan Stevens below.

eMusic is usually generous in giving away shit music for free, but this Christmas season they seem to be especially liberal in their giveaways. Like most eMusic samplers, the Redeye 2008 Holiday Sampler has a smattering of painfully produced indie rock against a smaller portion of delightful indie pop and sentimental male crooners. Recommended tracks include "Jingle Bells" by Lisa Loeb, "Deer Crossing" by Elk City, "Darlin'" by Over The Rhine and "Something to Hold On To" by Ron Sexsmith. Also available from eMusic: a free Rosie Thomas track brimming with Yuletide joy and quirky-girl sensibility, some big band cheer from Brian Setzer and his orchestra, and a "twisted" selection from Twisted Sister. Video for Twisted Sister's "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" below.

Normally you'd have to watch out for a "Fox in the Snow," but when that "fox" comes from mellow indie-pop legends Belle and Sebastian, it's certainly not a threat. Continuing the trend of unrelated news from yesterday: nine-year old Alec Greven has published a book, How to Talk to Girls. As if the publishing industry wasn't already a crapshoot of unneeded text, we now apparently need some nine-year-old Heathcliff to provide romantic advice. I think it's pretty obvious that most of the people purchasing this will be WASPy, childless adults looking for a cutesy laugh with their Christmas wine. Enjoy the hugely precocious video below and read more about the book at MSNBC.

Download "Fox in the Snow" from drop.io

Having a Yuletide ball? Celebrate it by dancing to a "Hyper-ballad." On a side note, the new Fox show The Secret Millionaire is so well-done that even a postmodern bastard such as myself can enjoy it. Millionaires go incognito in an impoverished community and find people deserving of a hefty donation---just the heartfelt sort of program perfect for inspiring some Christmas spirit. Watch the trailer below, and catch the show Wednesday nights at eight on Fox.

Download "Hyper-ballad (Post Live Version)" from Mediafire

Portishead is now accepting pre-orders of their latest single, (the third from Third) "Magic Doors." The 12" single is etched on one side, thus making it completely useless except for megafans and completists. A digital single will be available for those less interested in conversation pieces. A video has also been released to accompany this new slice of teary-eyed trip-hop. Watch it below.

Pre-order the single